[Way back in January I wrote the “Think Yourself Thin” post. A looooooooooong interruption occurred and the post somehow disappeared into cyberspace. So here we go again . . .]
Note: My husband is fond of saying that I “thought myself thin”. This is both true and untrue. My weight loss journey has operated on the principle that what we put our attention on we attract. Thus if your attention is on “it is difficult to lose weight” or “I have to work really hard to lose weight” that is what you will attract. My own focus has been on “weight just drops off” and “my lifestyle is one of satisfaction", "I am thin” and “I eat what is yummy and I am a healthy weight”. That is when I think about it at all. Which I usually don't. This three part series is my story in a nutshell.
Part I: I gain weight.
[image courtesy redbook]
When I married I was what is commonly referred to as "itty bitty". I continued “itty bitty” after marriage (which was in August) in fact getting smaller and smaller. [Much to the confusion of my in-laws, as shotgun weddings are more the norm in that family.]
One October day a few women I regularly saw on Sundays, with their husbands, invited me to hang out with them. I was ecstatic because I had gone from daily interactions with at least ten females down to, uh, none most days. I was desperate to be liked.
After our shopping trip outing we are heading home. There are five women and I am in the middle backseat of the car. I keep trying to tell myself that everything's okay and not to worry about anything. My mind wanders and as it wanders back I realize that the women are taking about gaining weight.
Woman 1 [in the passenger seat]:" . . . just can't understand it."
Woman 2 [driving]: "I know it's so weird how you put on weight after you get married."
Woman 3 [to my right]:"I just got married in July and I've already put on like fifteen pounds."
Woman 1: “But you look great. None of my clothes fit anymore.”
Woman 2: “I know, you stand in front of the mirror and just start crying. But our husbands are so great they just tell us how beautiful we are.”
Me: [I've been almost silent the entire outing and so I interject now that there's finally some sort of thing I can complain about along with all the other women] “My husband complains all the time that I keep getting smaller.”
Woman 2: “Wish my husband would complain about that.” . . . pause . . . “Though I suppose if I worked out all the time I would get smaller too.”
Me: “Oh, but I don't work out at all.”
Silence. As in could hear a pin drop. Women 1 & 2 glare at me. Women 3 & 4 (who had been silent) turn away and scoot towards the doors as much as their seat belts allow. I think Woman 1 is blinking back tears. I know I am, trying to figure out how I alienated everyone so completely. The rest of the drive was silent. We pull up to the duplex where Woman 1 and I live. I get out. She doesn't, and instead of the car turning up the street to go to the homes of all the other women it drives down the street the women now laughing and talking. I realize with a sinking heart that I will have to gain weight in order to have friends.
A month later I've put on twenty pounds.
Gratitudes:
- I am grateful for the need to want less series by recovering lazyholic. I especially like this one.
- I am grateful the laundry room is usually pretty empty during the day on Mondays or Tuesdays.
- I am grateful for all of those who are visiting the how to get a fabulous haircut post.
- I am grateful for the vendor who introduced me to red russian kale. Cook some bacon, add a can of white beans, some thyme and rosemary, a tablespoon of white vinegar and a squeeze of lemon. Chop up the kale, place in the pan and after it's wilted serve with corn on the cob or crusty bread. Mmm yummy.
- I am grateful my teeth are sound.
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