how to delegate cooking

Inspirity left a comment on "the key to being a domestic goddess"  post she asked, 

"How do you delegate the cooking?"

Well Inspirity, and anyone else curious, here is some information first on whom to delegate to and secondly on how to deal with the some common pitfalls.

Whom to Delegate To:

• Family members. This is my Mother's specialty. We tell the how-it-came-about story differently . . . but suffice it to say that from the time I was twelve to nineteen she didn't cook more than four times a month, sometimes less, then I moved out so I don't know what happened. This was because a different family member was assigned a day of the week (and there are nine children). It was just part of our chores. So assign away . . .
• Potlucks. Okay, so you do have to prepare something, but not the whole meal. These can be informal or on a recurring basis. When my husband and I first married we had dinner every Sunday at the same couples' home. We were assigned a various part of the meal the week before. Recently we've had more "true" potlucks where everyone just brings something and it somehow cohesively comes together.
• Rotating Dinners. In my mind this is like carpooling. Everyone has their assigned day but all the rest of the days they can relax. One girlfriend of mine has a Soup Night, currently she and another woman swap each Tuesday and others' in their building are invited to bring something along. I've known other women who prepare casseroles that can be frozen. Once a month they deliver these meals to the homes of the other participants who put the meal in their freezer to use one day in the upcoming week. Another group of women prepare one meal a week (in large quantities) and deliver it that day. On the other days the meal was delivered to them.
• Make Your Own. This works great with pizza or sandwiches. All you have to provide is the base, in this case dough or bread, and let everyone put on their own toppings. This is a great way to introduce children to cooking. The pizza dough recipe I use is by Wolfgang Puck. [Oddly enough this also works well with breakfast foods: waffles, pancakes, eggs, sausages, bacon, etcetera. You don't even have to make a base, just batter.]
• Barter. Some people love to cook, they really do. Ask them what it would take to get their services and then do that. It may be as simple as asking (though I recommend you provide the ingredients if they cook for you on a regular basis), other individuals may want to utilize an artistic skill you have, or ask you to watch their children, or well, who knows. You won't unless you ask. The trick to this lasting is to not overwhelm your cook. Treat them with gratitude and friendliness and occasionally ask if the arrangement is still working for them.
  
• Cook once, Eat multiple times. Also known as leftovers. This is a common dinner in my home. This means that you delegate the bulk of food prep and cooking to a single day. Some tips I have learned from doing this hundreds of times:
• Use foods that taste good when reheated.
• Prepare favorite foods. If you don't like it on night one you're going to loathe it on night three.
• Eat them for breakfast. Add foods to eggs in whatever is your favorite fashion. Fry things up with some spices or just in butter or bacon fat [with bacon on the side]. Mmm.
  
• Add different side dishes. They can be the same in concept as long as they are different in taste. One of the most common dishes I make extras of is enchiladas. A typical series of enchilada meals goes like this
• Enchiladas with pico de gallo, sour cream/plain yogurt, and baby spinach. Drink water.
  
• Enchiladas with spicy salsa, arugula, romaine lettuce, tortilla chips and fresh guacamole. Drink root beer.
• Enchiladas with spiced black beans (prepared the in the Dress It Up version I posted on here), any leafy green in the house [so in this scenario probably romaine lettuce, baby spinach, and arugula] douse the greens with the juice of half a lime. Sliced avocado with salt on the side. Drink pineapple-orange juice.

Common Pitfalls and Possible Solutions:

• Your Family Members Won't Cook. There are two veins of this problem: No. 1 is that there just is no food prepared in any manner. No.2 is that foods are made the "wrong" way, as in "not a full meal." In each instance you must determine whether this is a why or a how issue. 
• A why issue is defended with lines like, "Why should I cook when you do it already?", "This is your thing why should I bother?" The response to a child is fairly simple, "You'll thank me for this one day." or "I just want to equip you with plenty of skills so when you turn eighteen you can feel confident about living on your own if you want." [Psst: the same argument works for teaching children how to do the laundry, how to clean a toilet, how to iron their clothes, etcetera.] But what about when the party involved is your husband? I have seen two tactics that work. Tactic No. 1 is to play up what he does well. Does he have an ethnic speciality?  [My husband makes amazing Chinese food.] Ask him to make some of those dishes. Several other male friends are masters of the grill and their wives encourage them tobarbecue as often as possible. Other men really enjoy making bread, so find reasons for them to do so. Involving friends who are known to be heavy on the compliments is a good way to reinforce the cooking husband. Tactic No. 2 is to leave him alone. This means going out with a girlfriend or otherwise having personal time one or two evenings a week. On these days it is your husband's task to feed himself and your children. Your job is to not interfere. Even if you hang out at home when the children come to you hungry direct them to tell their Father. It may take a few times but he will get it and he will feed them. If he forgets to feed them make him go and get them a piece of bread. In any case, praise him for feeding them. Eventually you can introduce yourself back into the equation and he'll feed you along with the rest of the family.
  
•  The how issue refers to the ability and confidence to cook. Your children and/or husband may be willing to cook but not know how, or not know how to put together a balanced meal. For this you will have to coach them along with simple meals and lots of praise. Any of the assembly meals would work as would pasta, sandwiches, pizza, breakfast foods, salads, and grilled meats. If they find a favorite meal and don't want to deviate from that encourage them to change the side dishes or prepare them or the entree in a slightly different way. Eventually confidence will increase and your children and/or husband will strike out on their/his own.
  
• You Can't Find Anyone to Have Potluck With. Really? I mean really? You've asked over twenty people and not one is willing to come over to your home and bring a dish of some sort? Oh, you don't know who to ask. That's different. Think in your mind about who you regularly interact with. These aren't necessarily individuals you are close to, they are merely people you regularly interact with. Make a list. Cross off any you really don't want to invite to your home and then systematically go down the list. I mean it. You'll find someone. Do this enough times and you'll find a bunch of people and the issue will be which nights do you not want to have potlucks.
• Food Ruts. From time to time most people have these. The only way out is to just make something different. This is what cookbooks and recipe exchanges are for. 
• Dinner Disinterest. This also happens from time to time. Essentially your powers of creativity are too tapped out to think of what to have for dinner. The system that works for you is the system you should use. Personally I mentally go through our genres of food (pasta, "Mexican", Chinese, soup, roasted, breakfast for dinner, etc) and see what sounds good. Or I read through my cookbooks until I happen upon something that excites me. Other people assign genres to each day of the week. Others get whatever is cheapest on the meat aisle and in the produce section and make stuff from that. And sometimes I just eat out a lot. Which is another form of delegation.

Hope that helped you, Inspirity!

(image credits: "Alternate Day One Hundred and Six" courtesy MargauxV, "Grinning Chef" courtesy acornchief, & "I do Cook" courtesy daydayxvi)

Gratitudes:

1. I am grateful for Facebook - since I have a phone phobia Facebook really helps me keep in touch with friends and family.
2. I am grateful for kitchen appliances - seriously I love my waffle iron, and my ice cream maker, and blender, and air popcorn popper, and stand mixer, and hand mixer . . . oh and of course the stove/oven and fridge/freezer.
3. As an extension of #2 I am grateful for electricity. And wiring. And electricians. And power companies.
4. I am grateful for pajamas. Particularly my "Columbus" pants from Anthropologie.
5. I am grateful for kisses.