the fascinating way to speak the five love languages: an overview

You may already be familiar with The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman after all it is a New York Times Bestseller, but how can you speak your man's love language in a fascinating way? That's what this little series will be all about.

For this to work you must first off, know what the Five Love Languages are [psst: click on each to go to the related post]:

1. Words of Affirmation: verbal compliments and encouragement.
2. Quality Time: quality conversation involves sharing uninterrupted while the other truly listens offering up responses based on that intense listening; quality activities are set up with time focused solely on what you and your mate are doing together.
3. Receiving Gifts: these are tangible signs of love; they may be items bought from a store or made by you; being physically present with your mate going through the same experiences may also communicate the giving of a gift.
4. Acts of Service: activities we tend to call "chores" fall in this category.
5. Physical Touch: sexual intercourse, back massages, a touch on the cheek, a gentle squeeze of the hand, hugs and kisses, etc. [information paraphrased from Gary Chapman's website]
   

Secondly, you will need to know which love language your man speaks. There are three ways to do this:

1. Focus on one of the love languages each week for the next five weeks. Take note of which one(s) your man responds to best.
2. Take the quiz/have your man take the quiz, either online or at the end of the book.
   
3. Ask your husband what 1-3 things you do that most upset him/make him feel unloved; which category do they fall into? Caveat: if he says you don't have enough sexual intercourse ask a follow-up question about whether he is sad that you don't touch him in other ways; if physical touch is his love language he will be.

Lastly, you will have to have an open mind about his love language and about speaking it. Just because it seems difficult or sounds bizarre to you does not mean it isn't worthwhile. Besides think of how accomplished you'll be and how amazed your husband will be when you speak his language fluently!