appreciating his traditional gender role

One of the prevalent beliefs in America is that if a man does not help out around the house then he is not being a good husband. Now, I would not, and did not, marry a man with the viewpoint that "the household is woman's work." However, reading these few paragraphs in Fascinating Womanhood opened my mind to the principle behind traditional gender roles.

"In the early days of America a man was appreciated if he only kept food on the table. This was especially true on the western frontier where life was hard. A man had to build his own shelter, protect his family, and grow his own food. Survival was his foremost concern. Not much more was expected of him. His very existence was appreciated.

Today a man's efforts are less visible and therefore less appreciated. Although he no longer builds his own shelter, he must earn enough money to buy one. Although he no longer grows his own food, he must earn enough money to pay for it. In addition to necessities, he must earn enough for income tax, state tax, property tax, sales tax and gasoline tax. he not only supports a family but a federal government, local government, school system, highway systems and various organizations.

Where your husband succeeds in earning enough take-home pay to provide even the most basic necessities, he is worthy of appreciation. Your appreciation may mean more to him than his paycheck. Express your appreciation daily, and do it over and over again. If you grow tired of appreciate him over and over, remember, he must earn it over and over."

~Helen Andelin, Fascinating Womanhood, Chapter 4.

If your husband is the only financial provider in the family he deserves your appreciation. If you want to be treated as a cherished and beloved woman then he ought to retain the role of head financial provider. Even if you both earn an income (and even more so if your income is bigger than his) let him take over the masculine role of providing: for food, for shelter, for the necessities of life, for the children and yourself. Let your income be fun money. This is a more feminine approach and it leaves the door open for you to stop working should you choose to do so.